Ok. So Ms. O'brien has posted a story about a drinking a beer with a milk floatie in it. I aim to top that story in grossness. I have several. . . which to choose. . . which to choose . . . should I choose rotten cat? prolapsed uterus? being shat on? I believe that I will start out with the tamest and, if need be, work up from there.
Let me preface. I grew up on a dairy farm in northern Wisconsin. I also returned to the dairy farm as an adult and worked there. I loved that life (with the exception of not getting any time off), but when dealing with cows and other animals, well, lets just say that things can happen.
One day, I was hauling chopped straw into the barn for bedding for the cows. I was using a wheel barrow. I had just brought in a load and was headed out to get another (I needed six and I think I was on load four). The walk of the barn is about eight feet wide with gutters on each side and when you walk down the walk, you are faced with the asses of 71 large black and white bovines.
I don't remember who was feeding the cows on that particular day, but as I was headed back out to get the next load of straw, the feed cart was nearing the end of the manger and was making its way back to the silo for more feed. I looked and saw it coming and thought that I didn't want to wait for it to go by (I was impatient to get out of the barn and go about my own business). So, rather than wait for the feed cart to pass, I tried to duck behind the last cow and in front of the feed cart.
One other thing that I might add is that cows, especially dairy cows, with their diet rich in fiber, have a tendency to be shitters. And a milking dairy cow will probably drink seven to ten gallons of water a day, so they are also pissers. Dairy cows also tend to be nervous shitters and pissers and when someone that they don't know walks into the barn, they will all stand up and salute them with raised tails and showers of urine and feces.
So, back to my story. As you might imagine, just as I ducked to beat the feed cart, the cow on the end decided to relieve herself . . . O N M E. Warm, brown, shit flowed on my hair, in and behind my ear, on my shoulder and down my back, front and arm. I was covered. At that point, whether I was done hauling straw or not, I was finished. I walked into the milk house, where my mother was (and yes, she was laughing histerically) and she turned the hose on me to get the bulk of the shit off me. I then went to the house, stripped my clothes off in the garage and went in and took a REALLY LONG SHOWER.
Let me preface. I grew up on a dairy farm in northern Wisconsin. I also returned to the dairy farm as an adult and worked there. I loved that life (with the exception of not getting any time off), but when dealing with cows and other animals, well, lets just say that things can happen.
One day, I was hauling chopped straw into the barn for bedding for the cows. I was using a wheel barrow. I had just brought in a load and was headed out to get another (I needed six and I think I was on load four). The walk of the barn is about eight feet wide with gutters on each side and when you walk down the walk, you are faced with the asses of 71 large black and white bovines.
I don't remember who was feeding the cows on that particular day, but as I was headed back out to get the next load of straw, the feed cart was nearing the end of the manger and was making its way back to the silo for more feed. I looked and saw it coming and thought that I didn't want to wait for it to go by (I was impatient to get out of the barn and go about my own business). So, rather than wait for the feed cart to pass, I tried to duck behind the last cow and in front of the feed cart.
One other thing that I might add is that cows, especially dairy cows, with their diet rich in fiber, have a tendency to be shitters. And a milking dairy cow will probably drink seven to ten gallons of water a day, so they are also pissers. Dairy cows also tend to be nervous shitters and pissers and when someone that they don't know walks into the barn, they will all stand up and salute them with raised tails and showers of urine and feces.
So, back to my story. As you might imagine, just as I ducked to beat the feed cart, the cow on the end decided to relieve herself . . . O N M E. Warm, brown, shit flowed on my hair, in and behind my ear, on my shoulder and down my back, front and arm. I was covered. At that point, whether I was done hauling straw or not, I was finished. I walked into the milk house, where my mother was (and yes, she was laughing histerically) and she turned the hose on me to get the bulk of the shit off me. I then went to the house, stripped my clothes off in the garage and went in and took a REALLY LONG SHOWER.
5 comments:
2 months and no blog?? COME ON!!! I wanna know whats going on in your life!
that's really disgusting there carol
its been over a year...come on carol
Come on carol i'm waiting for an update on your life i mean i haven't seen you in a few months what else am i supposed to go on...???
Holy shit!
Now that is a good blog story.
Also know how deeply I appreciate all the comments you've left over at my blog. They mean the world to me.
All best to you--
Erin O'Brien
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