Monday, September 29, 2008
A feminist's view on Palin
The reason that we should all be very afraid of the McCain/Palin ticket. This is Kathleen Parker's opinion on the whole thing.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Autumn Cycle
Fall is in the air. It is nearly October. The corn in this vast prairie, where I live, is ripening and rustling in the fields, the beans are turning from green to yellow to brown and the trees are beginning to show autumn’s fiery paintbrush in yellow, orange and red.
The early morning air is crisp and clear, the days are warm and the nights return to their coolness when the sun retreats on the western horizon.
After I am ready for work and I leave the house, I spend the next glorious half hour in the dim of the early morning. I don a sweatshirt, jacket, gloves and my helmet and hop on my scooter. My ride to work is a calm and head clearing start to my day. There is minimal traffic. The bracing coolness on my exposed skin chases any sleep from my body. I am awake. I am alive.
I arrive at work and step into the cacophony of conveyors and fork trucks. I stop for a moment and drink in the warmth of the building and the liquid of my coffee. I anticipate the outcome of the day and what I need to do to make sure that the work gets done on time. I listen to people complain about their co-workers. I watch as employees work hard and do their best and am honored that they give me their all. I commend them. We get the job done, as a team. It is satisfying and the day is over.
I step outside. I breathe in the warmth that has replaced the cool of the morning. I pack up my jacket and sweatshirt and hop on my scooter for the second time. The air is balmy and warm and there is no need for gloves. I ride towards home. There is more traffic than this morning. I take the scenic route home, along the cemetery, by the woods. I drive from sunshine to shadow and the temperature of the shade hits my face and arms and cools me. It reminds me that the winter months are coming.
I arrive at home and am greeted by my dog. We play catch in the yard or head to go chase rabbits or squirrels in the woods. Worn out, we head back home. We eat our supper. We lay on the couch. We ready for bed.
Night has fallen and my energy wanes. It’s time for bed. I sleep the sleep of infants, deep, unencumbered and wake the next morning to start the cycle again.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Wednesday Rant
Excuse me sir, what did you say?
You shout so loud it’s hard to tell
You say that I should change my ways
Or I am surely bound to Hell.
Well I know you’d damn me if you could
But my friend that’s simply not your call
If God is great and God is good
Why is your heaven so small?
~Susan Werner
I have been very introspective of late. This doesn’t happen very often and I am not often this quiet. Life is pretty good and the job hasn’t even been too bad. I am not sure what is causing my deep thought.
I happened to be listening to some music last night while I was online researching wind and solar power (I am excited to potentially start using less fossil fuel to heat my house). I started with the only Indigo Girls album that I cannot sing all the words to but then I remembered Susan. Susan Werner is a very versatile female folk artist. I have seen her in concert and actually met her and talked to her twice. I first heard her music one Sunday afternoon as I was driving from eastern Wisconsin back home to the western half of the state. She was being interviewed on NPR’s Weekend All Things Considered. She sang three songs on that show that all touched my heart and caused me to desire to find out more about her.
I started doing some digging. This was in the very early days of the internet and I did not have access because I lived out in the middle of nowhere. I found out that she was a classically trained musician in opera and that she decided at some point in her life to ditch her degree and pursue what she loved. She is a magnificent songwriter, an excellent pianist and guitarist and has the voice of an angel.
I have loved all of her music. Her early work was very “folky” and she has done a few covers that are wonderful (Vincent and Everybody’s Talkin’). She has done an album of torch songs and has some nice up-beat tunes. Her last album was a collection of tunes in a gospel fashion. The Gospel Truth is a collection that has been called “agnostic gospel”.
Like the quote at the top of this entry, she pokes fun at the people who are quick to preach about something and are so zealous that one cannot tell what they are zealous about. Listening to this album last night drew me further into myself.
Another of her lyrics goes “How do you love those, who never will love you, who are happy to throw you, out in front of the train.” I know that feeling. I know that there are a lot of people in the world that will not accept me for who I am. Granted, I don’t always take people at face value, but I sure try. To those of you who are reading this and think “well, I’d accept you if . . .” then that isn’t true acceptance. Sorry, putting a condition on it is like saying “I’d love you if . . . “. That just doesn’t fly here.
You shout so loud it’s hard to tell
You say that I should change my ways
Or I am surely bound to Hell.
Well I know you’d damn me if you could
But my friend that’s simply not your call
If God is great and God is good
Why is your heaven so small?
~Susan Werner
I have been very introspective of late. This doesn’t happen very often and I am not often this quiet. Life is pretty good and the job hasn’t even been too bad. I am not sure what is causing my deep thought.
I happened to be listening to some music last night while I was online researching wind and solar power (I am excited to potentially start using less fossil fuel to heat my house). I started with the only Indigo Girls album that I cannot sing all the words to but then I remembered Susan. Susan Werner is a very versatile female folk artist. I have seen her in concert and actually met her and talked to her twice. I first heard her music one Sunday afternoon as I was driving from eastern Wisconsin back home to the western half of the state. She was being interviewed on NPR’s Weekend All Things Considered. She sang three songs on that show that all touched my heart and caused me to desire to find out more about her.
I started doing some digging. This was in the very early days of the internet and I did not have access because I lived out in the middle of nowhere. I found out that she was a classically trained musician in opera and that she decided at some point in her life to ditch her degree and pursue what she loved. She is a magnificent songwriter, an excellent pianist and guitarist and has the voice of an angel.
I have loved all of her music. Her early work was very “folky” and she has done a few covers that are wonderful (Vincent and Everybody’s Talkin’). She has done an album of torch songs and has some nice up-beat tunes. Her last album was a collection of tunes in a gospel fashion. The Gospel Truth is a collection that has been called “agnostic gospel”.
Like the quote at the top of this entry, she pokes fun at the people who are quick to preach about something and are so zealous that one cannot tell what they are zealous about. Listening to this album last night drew me further into myself.
Another of her lyrics goes “How do you love those, who never will love you, who are happy to throw you, out in front of the train.” I know that feeling. I know that there are a lot of people in the world that will not accept me for who I am. Granted, I don’t always take people at face value, but I sure try. To those of you who are reading this and think “well, I’d accept you if . . .” then that isn’t true acceptance. Sorry, putting a condition on it is like saying “I’d love you if . . . “. That just doesn’t fly here.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Illinois Monsoon
Basement - wet but not flooded
Sump Pump - new submersible
Water Heater - dried out and functioning
Phone - died but got a spare from the ex
Cleo - MIA
Yea, it's been a full day for me. I went downtown to meet up with a friend of mine this morning. She never showed. I get home around 12:30 because I am reading the paper, working the crossword and just generally waiting for the rain to let up so I don't get drenched leaving the coffee shop. I step in the house and immediately know that there is something wrong, I hear the sump pump running, but it sounds strange. I head downstairs and don’t even have to get a step down to see that there is much water in the basement. I go down and step off the bottom step into about 8 inches or so of water. I pull the plug on the pump and disconnect it from the outlet pipe. The water is back flowing into the basement. I try and pull the fittings off the wet sump by hand. I can't. I curse and cut my finger for the first time. I am now bleeding from the back of my thumb.
I go upstairs (water is still running at a very high rate from the outlet) and run out to the garage. Grab the pipe wrench and head back downstairs. I get the pipe off the pump and get it on the backup pump. I go to connect the outlet to the sump and get drenched. I feel like I am being water tortured (which doesn’t take much for me). Water is spraying in my face, I am not happy. I get things connected and plug the dry pump into the outlet, verrrrry carefully. . . yea, not a fan of stray electricity either. I put the pump in the hole and it is running, but doesn’t sound good. I try and put the pump all the way in the hole and the motor is submerged, it isn't a sealed motor. I pull it back up and sit there holding it for a few minutes listening to it, and watching the water not going down in the basement. I swear. . . loudly. About this time I realize that the water heater element is probably under water. I shut the gas off and turn the temp gauge on the water heater off.
I shut the pump off and pull the plug again. I call my ex. I can't do this alone. I tell her that the sump pump is kicking my ass and she says that she will be right over. I look at my options and discover that the only thing that we can realistically do is route the water out one of the basement windows. I send her to the hardware store with my debit card. She comes back with 50 feet of 1" hose, hose clamps and the correct fitting to go onto the sump so that we can attach the hose. She rocks! We get that set up and get it pumping out the window out away from the house. I set the other pump back in the hole and sit there holding it so that the motor isn't submerged. I watch and watch and watch and watch, the water level isn't moving, not going up, not going down. About 10 minutes later, still not changing. And the sump that I am holding is getting hot and starts to smell bad. It kicks off, trips the breaker and the other one shuts off. I swear again . . . loudly.
I get the breaker tripped back on. Get the other sump running out the window again and we go upstairs. I get online to look at the big box hardware stores to see what they have available for sump pumps. I call Home Depot to see what they have left, anticipating that everyone is needing one today. They have one, Julie goes to get it. We get it hooked up, I cut the same thumb for the second time, this time bleeding fairly badly, and in the hole. It's PUMPING AWAY! Now, I watch and watch and realize that the water level has started to go down. YAY!
We go upstairs and about a half hour later, go back down. We can see cement that isn't covered with water. I try and light the pilot on the water heater. No dice. It's still damp and has water in it. I remove the access cover and we set up a fan and a space heater to try and dry it out.
Julie goes home. I get a phone call, I am talking on the phone and the person on the other end can no longer hear me. My phone crapped out. I don't have a home phone. I need a phone, I text Julie and ask her if she still has her old phone. She does. I make arrangements to go and get it. I go down and try and get the water heater going. I am wet, dirty from crawling around on the wet basement floor and I cannot get the effing access panel back on the water heater. I finally get it back on and get the pilot lit. So, whew, no need for a new water heater.
I go to Julie's to get the phone. I come back. We had noticed when Julie was here earlier that my female cat was not about, which is unusual for her. So, I start looking for Cleo. I still have not found her. I am not sure where she would be. I have looked everywhere. No Cleo. I am worried but not too worried, and still thinking that she will come out from her hiding place or show up outside.
So that was my Sunday. I am exhausted. I didn't get ANYTHING done that I wanted to get done today. I hope this isn't an omen of the week to come. . . I don’t know if I can survive much more.
On the bright side, Cleo crawled out of her hiding place. Ahhh relief.
Sump Pump - new submersible
Water Heater - dried out and functioning
Phone - died but got a spare from the ex
Cleo - MIA
Yea, it's been a full day for me. I went downtown to meet up with a friend of mine this morning. She never showed. I get home around 12:30 because I am reading the paper, working the crossword and just generally waiting for the rain to let up so I don't get drenched leaving the coffee shop. I step in the house and immediately know that there is something wrong, I hear the sump pump running, but it sounds strange. I head downstairs and don’t even have to get a step down to see that there is much water in the basement. I go down and step off the bottom step into about 8 inches or so of water. I pull the plug on the pump and disconnect it from the outlet pipe. The water is back flowing into the basement. I try and pull the fittings off the wet sump by hand. I can't. I curse and cut my finger for the first time. I am now bleeding from the back of my thumb.
I go upstairs (water is still running at a very high rate from the outlet) and run out to the garage. Grab the pipe wrench and head back downstairs. I get the pipe off the pump and get it on the backup pump. I go to connect the outlet to the sump and get drenched. I feel like I am being water tortured (which doesn’t take much for me). Water is spraying in my face, I am not happy. I get things connected and plug the dry pump into the outlet, verrrrry carefully. . . yea, not a fan of stray electricity either. I put the pump in the hole and it is running, but doesn’t sound good. I try and put the pump all the way in the hole and the motor is submerged, it isn't a sealed motor. I pull it back up and sit there holding it for a few minutes listening to it, and watching the water not going down in the basement. I swear. . . loudly. About this time I realize that the water heater element is probably under water. I shut the gas off and turn the temp gauge on the water heater off.
I shut the pump off and pull the plug again. I call my ex. I can't do this alone. I tell her that the sump pump is kicking my ass and she says that she will be right over. I look at my options and discover that the only thing that we can realistically do is route the water out one of the basement windows. I send her to the hardware store with my debit card. She comes back with 50 feet of 1" hose, hose clamps and the correct fitting to go onto the sump so that we can attach the hose. She rocks! We get that set up and get it pumping out the window out away from the house. I set the other pump back in the hole and sit there holding it so that the motor isn't submerged. I watch and watch and watch and watch, the water level isn't moving, not going up, not going down. About 10 minutes later, still not changing. And the sump that I am holding is getting hot and starts to smell bad. It kicks off, trips the breaker and the other one shuts off. I swear again . . . loudly.
I get the breaker tripped back on. Get the other sump running out the window again and we go upstairs. I get online to look at the big box hardware stores to see what they have available for sump pumps. I call Home Depot to see what they have left, anticipating that everyone is needing one today. They have one, Julie goes to get it. We get it hooked up, I cut the same thumb for the second time, this time bleeding fairly badly, and in the hole. It's PUMPING AWAY! Now, I watch and watch and realize that the water level has started to go down. YAY!
We go upstairs and about a half hour later, go back down. We can see cement that isn't covered with water. I try and light the pilot on the water heater. No dice. It's still damp and has water in it. I remove the access cover and we set up a fan and a space heater to try and dry it out.
Julie goes home. I get a phone call, I am talking on the phone and the person on the other end can no longer hear me. My phone crapped out. I don't have a home phone. I need a phone, I text Julie and ask her if she still has her old phone. She does. I make arrangements to go and get it. I go down and try and get the water heater going. I am wet, dirty from crawling around on the wet basement floor and I cannot get the effing access panel back on the water heater. I finally get it back on and get the pilot lit. So, whew, no need for a new water heater.
I go to Julie's to get the phone. I come back. We had noticed when Julie was here earlier that my female cat was not about, which is unusual for her. So, I start looking for Cleo. I still have not found her. I am not sure where she would be. I have looked everywhere. No Cleo. I am worried but not too worried, and still thinking that she will come out from her hiding place or show up outside.
So that was my Sunday. I am exhausted. I didn't get ANYTHING done that I wanted to get done today. I hope this isn't an omen of the week to come. . . I don’t know if I can survive much more.
On the bright side, Cleo crawled out of her hiding place. Ahhh relief.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I'm B O R E D!!
Yes, bored. I would love to spend my time outside, sitting at a coffee shop reading a newspaper, magazine or a good book or hanging out by water somewhere. But I am stuck at work and bored.
It is a beautiful early autumn day outside and I have to be at work. The skies are clear, the air is crisp and everything is still green and I have to be at work. I have to listen to the whir of the conveyors and the honk of the horns on the equipment instead of the birds and the sound of the breeze. I have to sit at a desk or pack pallets instead of lounging outside in the back yard on my hammock or walking in the woods with my dog. I have to wear steel-toed shoes and socks instead of running around in my sandals or barefooted. I have to stare at a computer screen instead of peering at life through the lens of my camera.
You see, there are many things that I would rather be doing than work. However, my work ethic keeps me coming to work every day at 6:30 am and staying until at least 3:30 pm. I think I got that from my parents and working on the farm. The cows don’t take days off, so we couldn’t either and my father was and is a firm believer in the old adage “Make hay while the sun shines”. So if the sun was out and there was hay to harvest, that’s what we were doing. I also have a mortgage to pay and I need a new car, so I will continue to work. But it will not keep me from longing to be out in the crisp autumn days of west-central Illinois and will not quench the desire to be out on my bike in the middle of no where, dodging the wooly worms on the road, with the wind at my back.
*Sigh!*
It is a beautiful early autumn day outside and I have to be at work. The skies are clear, the air is crisp and everything is still green and I have to be at work. I have to listen to the whir of the conveyors and the honk of the horns on the equipment instead of the birds and the sound of the breeze. I have to sit at a desk or pack pallets instead of lounging outside in the back yard on my hammock or walking in the woods with my dog. I have to wear steel-toed shoes and socks instead of running around in my sandals or barefooted. I have to stare at a computer screen instead of peering at life through the lens of my camera.
You see, there are many things that I would rather be doing than work. However, my work ethic keeps me coming to work every day at 6:30 am and staying until at least 3:30 pm. I think I got that from my parents and working on the farm. The cows don’t take days off, so we couldn’t either and my father was and is a firm believer in the old adage “Make hay while the sun shines”. So if the sun was out and there was hay to harvest, that’s what we were doing. I also have a mortgage to pay and I need a new car, so I will continue to work. But it will not keep me from longing to be out in the crisp autumn days of west-central Illinois and will not quench the desire to be out on my bike in the middle of no where, dodging the wooly worms on the road, with the wind at my back.
*Sigh!*
Monday, September 08, 2008
Chicago
So I made the trek to Chicago on Sunday. I drove my little truck up to University Park and jumped on part of Chicago’s marvelous public transportation system, paid my $5 (no trip limit all weekend, a better bargain, you will not find) and rode the train into the heart of Chicago. I got off the train at what used to be called the Randolph Street Station, but has been renamed Millennium Station for the park that has been created across Michigan Avenue. I had an hour to think about what was going to happen once I got there and by the time I stepped off the train I was shaking like a leaf.
I met a wonderful woman there. We wandered around Millennium Park and just sat and talked for about an hour. We had been emailing back and forth and had spoken on the phone for one long conversation and a couple of times after that, but we had never done the face-to-face thing. It was good to see her and meet her and just hang out with her.
I will interject that there had been a huge hatch of dragonflies by the water and they were EVERYWHERE. It was a lot of fun to watch them fly around our heads and light on the flowers and grasses in the gardens that we passed through.
We talked about everything: Politics, growing up, the weather, jobs, work history, animals, the dragonflies, etc. Then we went and ate some lunch and wandered about the city a little more. I had my own private walking tour of the riverfront and we wandered around just looking at the buildings and the architecture up and down the streets. She is beautiful, intelligent, witty and fun to be around. I like her a lot, but there were no sparks. D A M N I T! I am pretty sure that she felt the same way, so I guess we’re on the same page. It was nice and I want to keep her friendship because she is a person of substance and makes me want to be a better person. I kind of knew that this was where we were at, but you have to take a closer look sometimes, hold things up to the light and examine them.
I know it sounds like I am being ungrateful. But I am grateful. She showed me parts of the city I had never seen before and she gave me a true Chicagoan’s appreciation of that city and I have a new friend, someone that I can talk to and listen to and have a new reason to go to Chicago. The “wins” in the situation far outnumber the losses.
I guess I will go back to the old drawing board and trust that the Universe has something bigger and better in mind for me. And, yea, there are no U-Haul’s in my immediate future. . .
I met a wonderful woman there. We wandered around Millennium Park and just sat and talked for about an hour. We had been emailing back and forth and had spoken on the phone for one long conversation and a couple of times after that, but we had never done the face-to-face thing. It was good to see her and meet her and just hang out with her.
I will interject that there had been a huge hatch of dragonflies by the water and they were EVERYWHERE. It was a lot of fun to watch them fly around our heads and light on the flowers and grasses in the gardens that we passed through.
We talked about everything: Politics, growing up, the weather, jobs, work history, animals, the dragonflies, etc. Then we went and ate some lunch and wandered about the city a little more. I had my own private walking tour of the riverfront and we wandered around just looking at the buildings and the architecture up and down the streets. She is beautiful, intelligent, witty and fun to be around. I like her a lot, but there were no sparks. D A M N I T! I am pretty sure that she felt the same way, so I guess we’re on the same page. It was nice and I want to keep her friendship because she is a person of substance and makes me want to be a better person. I kind of knew that this was where we were at, but you have to take a closer look sometimes, hold things up to the light and examine them.
I know it sounds like I am being ungrateful. But I am grateful. She showed me parts of the city I had never seen before and she gave me a true Chicagoan’s appreciation of that city and I have a new friend, someone that I can talk to and listen to and have a new reason to go to Chicago. The “wins” in the situation far outnumber the losses.
I guess I will go back to the old drawing board and trust that the Universe has something bigger and better in mind for me. And, yea, there are no U-Haul’s in my immediate future. . .
Thursday, September 04, 2008
New Beginnings
I have placed my face on a singles website: Tangowire.com. And I have a couple of pictures of my mug there and along with a little bit of information about me. I have had a few people email me and say, “Hey! What’s shakin’?!” And I have emailed several people and got ZERO response. It’s pretty rude if you ask me at least have the decency to say that you aren’t interested.
The most recent was a young lady from Missouri. I will not divulge the city or the name to keep her out of this venue. This young lady is 25. I will be 43 in November. She contacted me and I asked her why she did. Her response: She said that I looked like I was very huggable and a lot of fun. Hmm. . . how does one take that? So she starts emailing me, never mind that I was a senior in high school the year she was born, and says that she really wants to get to know me. Okayyyyyyyyyy. So I start telling her stuff about me. The things I like to do, that I don’t take my work too seriously, that I like to be outside, where I grew up, all that stuff. And then she asks me if I have AIM or something to chat with. . . and I? Well, of course, I say yes. So she is talking about her work (in politics) and I am really a-political, I am just NOT into it. And she is talking about how she wants to be in DC within a year and I am thinking “Wow, I hope I never took myself that seriously”. So thankfully, I think she realized that there was quite a difference, both in age and in personality. Yea, I am fun and huggable, but I like to live and living, in my humble opinion, is not about a job or career.
There have been a couple of others. One of which I think I may have scared off by telling her that she could come meet me on Sunday morning for coffee, the paper and conversation (which is ALL I wanted). Then there was this woman who contacted me and gave me her and her partner’s email addresses and said that she was with the most wonderful woman in the world and wanted us all to get together and then shortly thereafter, contacted me and said, “We are having some trouble and I don’t know where our relationship is going. Best of luck to you”. Then, POOF, gone.
There have also been a couple of successful pairings, if only for friendship. I spent a couple hours talking to a woman last night. We told stories on ourselves and laughed and I think we both had a really good time. I am a bit worried because she is already calling me babe and darlin’. But I think she is harmless (and 2000 miles away).
I have actually spent a LOT of time emailing someone that is geographically closer (within 3 hours) and have had a wonderful time getting to know her. She is smart and funny and I think we get each other. We have a similar background in regards to religion growing up and where we are now. And it actually appears that she gets along with her family about as well as I do mine (which is not so well). I am actually going to go and meet up with her this weekend. I am a little scared that we may not get along as well as I think may be possible, but who knows? We spent about an hour on the phone on Monday. There were lots of laughs and only a few moments of pregnant silence when it appeared neither of us had anything to say. I will see if that persists, or if it was just the “first real conversation” jitters.
It’s different face to face. You get the interaction and the eye contact. You get to see the little mannerisms that you don’t know are there. It has been a VERY long time since I have been on the dating scene (and the time that I spent on it before was very limited), so I don’t know that I really know how to do it. Time will tell. My next post may be one of utter despair that my meeting didn’t work out very well or who knows, maybe I’ll go rent a U-haul for the second date.
The most recent was a young lady from Missouri. I will not divulge the city or the name to keep her out of this venue. This young lady is 25. I will be 43 in November. She contacted me and I asked her why she did. Her response: She said that I looked like I was very huggable and a lot of fun. Hmm. . . how does one take that? So she starts emailing me, never mind that I was a senior in high school the year she was born, and says that she really wants to get to know me. Okayyyyyyyyyy. So I start telling her stuff about me. The things I like to do, that I don’t take my work too seriously, that I like to be outside, where I grew up, all that stuff. And then she asks me if I have AIM or something to chat with. . . and I? Well, of course, I say yes. So she is talking about her work (in politics) and I am really a-political, I am just NOT into it. And she is talking about how she wants to be in DC within a year and I am thinking “Wow, I hope I never took myself that seriously”. So thankfully, I think she realized that there was quite a difference, both in age and in personality. Yea, I am fun and huggable, but I like to live and living, in my humble opinion, is not about a job or career.
There have been a couple of others. One of which I think I may have scared off by telling her that she could come meet me on Sunday morning for coffee, the paper and conversation (which is ALL I wanted). Then there was this woman who contacted me and gave me her and her partner’s email addresses and said that she was with the most wonderful woman in the world and wanted us all to get together and then shortly thereafter, contacted me and said, “We are having some trouble and I don’t know where our relationship is going. Best of luck to you”. Then, POOF, gone.
There have also been a couple of successful pairings, if only for friendship. I spent a couple hours talking to a woman last night. We told stories on ourselves and laughed and I think we both had a really good time. I am a bit worried because she is already calling me babe and darlin’. But I think she is harmless (and 2000 miles away).
I have actually spent a LOT of time emailing someone that is geographically closer (within 3 hours) and have had a wonderful time getting to know her. She is smart and funny and I think we get each other. We have a similar background in regards to religion growing up and where we are now. And it actually appears that she gets along with her family about as well as I do mine (which is not so well). I am actually going to go and meet up with her this weekend. I am a little scared that we may not get along as well as I think may be possible, but who knows? We spent about an hour on the phone on Monday. There were lots of laughs and only a few moments of pregnant silence when it appeared neither of us had anything to say. I will see if that persists, or if it was just the “first real conversation” jitters.
It’s different face to face. You get the interaction and the eye contact. You get to see the little mannerisms that you don’t know are there. It has been a VERY long time since I have been on the dating scene (and the time that I spent on it before was very limited), so I don’t know that I really know how to do it. Time will tell. My next post may be one of utter despair that my meeting didn’t work out very well or who knows, maybe I’ll go rent a U-haul for the second date.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Long Time Gone
Yes, it has been two years since I have posted anything here. A lot has changed for me in those two years.
I am now single. I won’t go into the gory details here. It will just have to suffice to say that I made some big mistakes and was not very willing to deal with some issues that needed my full, undivided attention.
I am no longer working second shift. Yes, I have made that nasty change and have to get up at 5AM on a daily basis. It’s like I am back on the farm again. I am sure glad someone found caffeine and the FDA didn’t feel the need to ban it. I sure look forward to that coffee to jump start my day.
I am back on the dating scene. I think this may be what I am going to expound on today. Let me back up a moment by saying that I am a fairly shy individual outside of the blogosphere and the net and I lived in very rural Wisconsin for most of my life. I also tried very hard to be straight almost all of my life and while I got along great with the guys that I knew, none of them wanted to date someone who could talk farming and cars like they could. And rural Wisconsin definitely is not a place where there are a lot of “out” lesbians. Let’s just suffice it to say that I don’t have a lot of dating experience.
Those of you who know me, and if you don’t know me personally you can probably tell by my picture, know that I am not very feminine. I don’t look feminine. I don’t act feminine. I don’t sound feminine. But, I am attracted to feminine women. See, this is where I start having trouble. Unless I see the signs on a feminine woman (rainbow garb, flirting with other women, etc), the gaydar just doesn’t work very well on feminine women. Yup, I can spot a dyke from a mile away and so can most people, but trying to pick out the one out of ten women who are gay in the feminine realm it next to impossible unless they make the first move. And, my friends, they just aren’t moving towards me.
I went out to one of the gay friendly establishments here in town with a friend a couple of weeks ago and we played pool for a long time. I was watching the people come and go and saw a greater number of straight people in this bar than gay people. I am not sporty and I don’t want to play softball. I just don’t know where to go to meet people.
So here I sit. Single: Trying to figure out what to do and how to get myself out there to meet more people. I am open to suggestion. . . really.
I am now single. I won’t go into the gory details here. It will just have to suffice to say that I made some big mistakes and was not very willing to deal with some issues that needed my full, undivided attention.
I am no longer working second shift. Yes, I have made that nasty change and have to get up at 5AM on a daily basis. It’s like I am back on the farm again. I am sure glad someone found caffeine and the FDA didn’t feel the need to ban it. I sure look forward to that coffee to jump start my day.
I am back on the dating scene. I think this may be what I am going to expound on today. Let me back up a moment by saying that I am a fairly shy individual outside of the blogosphere and the net and I lived in very rural Wisconsin for most of my life. I also tried very hard to be straight almost all of my life and while I got along great with the guys that I knew, none of them wanted to date someone who could talk farming and cars like they could. And rural Wisconsin definitely is not a place where there are a lot of “out” lesbians. Let’s just suffice it to say that I don’t have a lot of dating experience.
Those of you who know me, and if you don’t know me personally you can probably tell by my picture, know that I am not very feminine. I don’t look feminine. I don’t act feminine. I don’t sound feminine. But, I am attracted to feminine women. See, this is where I start having trouble. Unless I see the signs on a feminine woman (rainbow garb, flirting with other women, etc), the gaydar just doesn’t work very well on feminine women. Yup, I can spot a dyke from a mile away and so can most people, but trying to pick out the one out of ten women who are gay in the feminine realm it next to impossible unless they make the first move. And, my friends, they just aren’t moving towards me.
I went out to one of the gay friendly establishments here in town with a friend a couple of weeks ago and we played pool for a long time. I was watching the people come and go and saw a greater number of straight people in this bar than gay people. I am not sporty and I don’t want to play softball. I just don’t know where to go to meet people.
So here I sit. Single: Trying to figure out what to do and how to get myself out there to meet more people. I am open to suggestion. . . really.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
